I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
