I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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