tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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