I feel great
I just peed on a car
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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