He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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