i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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