Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i drank out of a bidet.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
