shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
