Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Two words: blizzard sex
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
