Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
