They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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