Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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