i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize