OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so let's talk penis.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
