honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
