the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
