didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
