Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
