they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
