the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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