You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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