Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
pray to the hookup gods
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
