so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
