i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize