this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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