I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
NoShamevember. You game?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
