So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
