Just fell off a train. Bad.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
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Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i believe in u and ur pee
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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