found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
