what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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