i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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