Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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