Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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