Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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