i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
