They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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