I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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