Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
