Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i came on her dog
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize