tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
