Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
