yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
