dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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