I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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