can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
time to smoke my breakfast
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
