can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
