careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
