Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
