goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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