I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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