READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
