I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize