Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dick very happy bro
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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