another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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