Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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