..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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