apparently the secret to your success is patron
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
