Where is the hickey?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
