Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
