The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
